Dear House Guests

What a pleasure it was to rise at 3.30 am for our early flight back to Rome and arrive to find our house just as you had left it that morning - disgusting.  Some holiday renters amaze me, I wonder if your total lack of respect applies only to other people's property or equally to your own, I have no idea how your minds work.  Lets go over a few points.
I have never seen such a filthy bathroom as the en suite.  Even when Mr FF has been working outside all day amongst dust and dirt, the bath has never been that colour.  When I lifted out the non slip mat there was a perfect negative image of it in grease and dirt on the bottom of the bath.  The toilets are beyond discussion.
It was interesting how you had re-arranged all the crockery, stupid of me to keep the same items in the same place, much easier for you to stick things anywhere and who needs say 12 white plates together and next to 12 white bowls etc.  Always a good idea too to put some things away dirty, ensures that everything had to be checked and keeps us on out toes.
We do ask for the tv to be unplugged and soft furnishings from the terrace moved under cover in stormy weather, obviously we don't mean this.  It was pouring down and thundering when we arrived and the terrace looked like a badly arranged furniture showroom.
I did mention it would be helpful if you could keep an eye on my pots of plants which you said would be no problem.  Obviously walking past them every day as they turned brown and died wasn't a problem for you, its heart breaking for me to grown flowers from seed and try to make the the house look better, a large display of brown stalks is equally welcoming and so much easier.
i know the village refuse and recycling system is a pain, you need 5 different bags which you put out on 6 days for door to door collection.  I have made a chart of what goes when and there are containers in the garage to keep your sorted stuff in.    I can understand you didn't want to enter into this so leaving a weeks rubbish in the kitchen, including a large oozing bag of rotting food was the best option.  It will be a week before some of your rubbish is removed but you are miles away now what do you care.
You certainly didn't get the hang of the shutter catches did you.  You open the shutters push them back and the catch springs up to hold them in place, you got that far.  To release them you simply press the little knob at the bottom of the catch, you don't actually need to unscrew the catches from the wall though its an interesting idea if a little labour intensive.
I've also considered your idea of splattering flies on the wall and leaving them there, particularly effective in the bedroom above the bed.  I've never been a fan of rag rolling or distressing so I probably won't take this forward.
So I am getting through the cleaning and still laundering.  I do feel 12 bath towels for 5 people in a week is excessive but it looks like you used some of the white ones for sunbathing, they have already been washed twice, so perhaps you did need them all.  I know you discovered the washing machine but you must have thought this was for your ouse only.  I worked out from the detergent level that in the past 28 letting days there have been 40 washes, presumably no one does laundry when they arrive or the day they leave, so this works out at almost 2 washes per day, couldn't you fit it a towel or two., they do dry really quickly.  Mr FF blames Ryanair for not allowing us to bring much luggage.
The website where we advertise our property has come up with the idea of including guest reviews.  I am not at all interested but thinking of starting my own site similar to trip advisor where holiday home owners can black list the renting slobs, Dirt Alert I might call it or Guests who are Pests.  We have had horrible people here in the past but recent renters you are now no 1 in the charts and the jury is out about continuing to let.  A pity as most people are careful and appreciative and we prefer the village to have an occupied house and some tourist income.  You awful people spoil things for everyone else and you don't give a toss.